Lucky Man
by Simallyher
Summary: Sam's leaving with only a note as her reason. Daniel doesn't like being left in the dark and goes after her. Is her reason good enough, or will something Daniel has to say change everything?


**LUCKY MAN**

**Disclaimer:** Unfortunately I do not own Stargate, it's scripts, cast, crew or rights. But I've borrowed the characters, spun my own story and presented it in a nice bundle of 'No copyright infringment meant, no money has been made through the production of the fic, but many hours have been lost.'

She re-read the letter before placing it in the envelope, attaching it to his door and leaving. She walked calmly through the check-outs, just like she would usually, but tonight was not usual. Tonight would be the last night she would make this trek, tonight was the night her posting at the SGC ended. One week ago she had resigned, General Landry couldn't talk her out of it, Cameron had also tried and failed, and Teal'c saw her defeat and bid her a better life. That was one of the hardest parts, looking at Teal'c and having him understand without needing to explain things. He was off-world until tomorrow, that's why she had decided to make this now, at least then he won't want further explaining, but then her letter didn't say much either.

She climbed into her truck, glanced at the few personal things she had taken and drove through the last few check points. She refused to look in the rear-view mirror, she would not cry. The wetness on her cheeks was not tears of pain, but of relief. These lies would only last the trip home, she knew that, but it helped her leave. Helped her justify her reasons.

**SGSG**

They had come in hot, and ahead of schedule. Daniel had been hit, but the damage was mild compared to the rest of SG-6. Glancing around at his team mates, he noticed the reduction in their size.

'Where's Sam?' He asked glancing between Cameron and Teal'c.

'She's…well…' Cameron couldn't spit it out.

'Colonel Carter has left the SGC already,' Teal'c supplied him.

'Oh, well I'll see her tomorrow then,' he winced slightly getting up. He missed the glance between his other team mates and continued. 'I'll be in my lab.'

'Sure thing,' Cameron mumbled as he left.

He limped slightly from the pain, but that didn't stop him noticing the sympathetic glances from the other personnel. It wasn't as if he had never been hurt before, between himself and Siler, the medical staff was never bored.

Reaching his office he pulled the white envelope off the door, flipping it over there was no insignia, no idea who it was from. Kicking his door shut he continued to flip the envelope over before finally tearing it open. There was a note inside, a note from Sam. That was odd, if she needed to talk to him, she could've waited until tomorrow.

_Daniel,_

_You're reading this so that means you're back. I hope the mission went well, but knowing you, you've come back under fire, and have just spent the best part of the night in the infirmary._

She knows him too well, but that was just them, it had always been that way. He hoped it would always be like that, he'd never had such a connection with anyone not even Shar're. That thought made him feel slightly guilty, but he couldn't refute the truth.

_You're also wondering why I wrote this and why I'm not sitting across from you and explaining this properly. That's my own pride stopping me from doing that. So, I might as well get this out before the writing becomes messy and unreadable._

_I've left Daniel, I can't explain why, or why I never spoke about this with you, but I can't stay and I'm sorry. You are my best, longest and dearest friend, I'm sorry I never told you about this._

_I'll be gone from Colorado Springs by the time you are due back, I couldn't do this while you were on-world. We probably won't see each other again so I want you to remember that I love you, I'll never forget our friendship and I'm terribly sorry._

_Love,_

_Sam_

Wait a minute, she was gone? He jumped from his seat and raced out of his lab, down the corridor and into Sam's now empty lab. This can't be happening; he turned to face Cameron and Teal'c.

'She's gone, as in not coming back ever gone,' he stated.

'Yep,' Cameron sighed.

'You knew?' He snapped.

'That we did DanielJackson,' Teal'c bowed solemnly.

'You knew before I left or after?'

'Before,' Cameron wouldn't look at him. 'She resigned last week.'

'You let her leave!' Daniel shouted.

'Hey, I _tried_ to stop her, she wouldn't listen,' Cameron defended himself.

'I too went to try, but I saw the defeat in her eyes and let her leave,' Teal'c replied softly. 'I am sorry I failed you DanielJackson.'

'Her letter says she'll be gone when I get back, I'm not due back till tomorrow afternoon. I can make it to her place, I can stop her!' He started bouncing on the soles of his feet. 'Drive me there please?'

'She said that if you were to come back early, she didn't want us driving you over,' Cameron sighed again. 'Don't hate us, it's what she wants.'

'What she wants! What about what I want? Did she even think about what I would want?' Daniel cried, brushing past his friends as he ran out. 'If you won't drive me then I'll drive myself, don't try to stop me.'

'Jackson, what's it going to accomplish?' Cameron called after him.

'If it means Sam won't leave, then I say a lot!' He shouted back, making his way to the surface.

**SGSG**

She was right, once she got home the tears fell faster, and harder. Her whole body shook as she wept, she hadn't even cried this hard when her mother had died. She sat shattered on her sofa as she remembered her reason for leaving.

They were inseparable, just like they had been once. A long time ago now. It wasn't Vala's fault; she couldn't even blame Daniel, so all she could do was leave. The pain was affecting her work, she was becoming easily distracted and snapping at everyone was making her the most disliked person on base. How petty was she, leaving because Daniel had taken a liking to the new girl on the block, Vala. It didn't help that she was too stubborn to let him know how this was affecting her, or that she'd fallen in love with him. Not that she would tell him: ever. Thankfully she was leaving late morning, taking a few months off, and then asking for her new posting. It was the plan, would've been a great plan too if the door hadn't started making noises.

'Who is it?' She called making her way to the door.

'Open up Sam,' Daniel's voice demanded.

'Don't you tell me what to do!' She shouted back.

'Please open the door?' came his sarcastic reply.

She wrenched the door open. 'What?'

'You know what,' Daniel dangled the letter in front of her.

'You're back early,' she stated.

'Don't sound so disappointed,' Daniel drawled. 'Care to explain?'

'I thought I already had,' she shot back.

'Oh, right, how did you explain it?' Daniel scanned the letter. '"_I've left Daniel, I can't explain why or why I never spoke about this with you, but I can't stay and I'm sorry."_ Hell of an explanation there,' Daniel stepped past her and into the living room.

'Why don't you come in, make yourself at home,' Sam mocked his movements.

'Don't mind if I do,' Daniel snapped.

She shut the door and faced him. She had hoped this wouldn't happen, she knew he'd be hurt, upset and yes, she knew anger would be there. What she saw when she faced him was a shattered man. An angry, shattered man.

'Why?' He whispered, the anger draining from him.

'It's the most stupid and ridiculous reason, I'd prefer you not know how dumb I am,' she replied, equally quiet.

'You're the most intelligent woman I know, your reason can't be that stupid,' Daniel gave her a small smile.

'I don't know Daniel, this ranks high on the stupid scale,' she sighed taking up a position in front of him.

'Try me,' He sat on the arm of the couch and just watched her.

'First let me ask you something.'

'Sure.'

'Have you ever loved someone even though you knew you shouldn't and knew you couldn't have them?' She took a breath.

Daniel chuckled softly. 'Yes, yes I have loved someone even though I shouldn't.'

'How did you deal with it?'

'I died,' he frowned. 'I realised that I was too late, and then I thought I heard something different but I was already dying and I couldn't do anything about it.'

'I don't think that will help me,' she sighed facing away from him.

'Neither did dying Sam,' Daniel brought her attention back to him. 'I came back and it was the first thing I remembered. It tore me apart when I realised why I couldn't tell her.'

'Then how did you deal?'

'I didn't,' he stated bluntly. 'I still love her, I still can't have her and I'm still not dealing all to well.'

'I can't focus, it hurts that much. I'm fast becoming the most hated person on base, and I'm making stupid mistakes,' she finally explained.

'Do you love him?' Daniel whispered.

'Yes, very much, that's the problem.'

'Who is it? It's not Walter or Siler is it?' A huge grin cracked across his serious demeanour.

'Of course it is, who else would it be?' She joked.

'How long?'

'A long time.'

'It's not Jack is it?' Daniel groaned.

'What if it is?' Sam asked, still grinning slightly.

'Oh come on!' Daniel exclaimed pushing himself off from the couch. 'What would you talk about? He falls asleep whenever you start anything scientific. You hate hockey, you can't stand The Simpsons and you have no patience for fishing.'

'It's not Jack,' she grinned impishly. 'I just watching you get worked up.'

'Sam,' Daniel whined slightly. 'Why are you leaving, surely something can be worked out.'

'Not this time, how is Vala?' Subject change, good thing.

'I don't know, she wasn't there when I got back. I don't really care at the moment; I'm more concerned about why you're leaving. Have I done something?' She froze. 'Oh God, I've done something.' Daniel raked a hand through his hair.

'No you—'

'Don't,' Daniel cut her off. 'Don't tell me I haven't done something, your face told me everything I needed to know. I've screwed something up and now I'm loosing you!' Daniel began pacing in front of her. 'It's me, I've been spending too much time with Vala, I neglected you, I've shifted your problems to the curb while I've let Vala's flourish and distract me. I haven't paid you enough attention, God, how do I fix this? What can I do?'

'Daniel,' she tried to get his attention.

'Has to be something, you can't just leave like this, I know now. Oh damn,' his hand raked his hair again, ruffling it more. Making him all the more attractive.

'Daniel, please stop,' she tried again.

'I can spend more time with you, I can tell Vala to go away, I can do anything you need me to do Sam, just stay, please stay,' she heard the begging in his voice.

'I'm leaving and there isn't anything you can do to stop it from happening. It's sweet you would do anything to keep me here Daniel, but there's nothing you can do, it's done,' she explained.

'You can't leave me Sam!' Daniel's voice broke. 'You can't.'

She went to reach for him, but stopped, dropping her hand again. 'I have to.'

'But I need you,' he whispered. 'I need you to breathe; you're like my oxygen Sam.'

'Please don't,' Sam whispered hoarsely, the emotion clogging up her throat.

'Then stay,' Daniel stared at her. 'Stay and I'll stop.'

'Daniel…' she couldn't form the words.

'I want you to stay, I want to know what I did wrong, and I'll fix it. I'll change, I'll do anything. I can't loose you Sam, I've lost everyone else I've ever cared about.'

**SGSG**

Why wasn't she getting the picture? Did he have to spell it out for her?

'You'll be fine Daniel,' the words cracked open his anger again.

'I'll be fine?' He sneered. 'What you think there is a switch I can just flip and forget how I feel? Forget how reading your words broke my heart? I won't be fine Sam, I'll be a wreck.'

'And I'm not?' Sam countered.

'What. Did. I. Do?' He bit out.

'Nothing you can fix, nothing I can fix, so just leave it, I'm leaving Daniel.'

He slumped again the couch again, defeat seeped into him. 'Alright.'

'I'm sorry Daniel,' Sam reached for him and he flinched away.

'Please don't, it's hard enough knowing that I can't stop you, having you touch me would hurt too much,' he whispered, the fight gone. 'I better go.'

'Daniel…' Sam began.

'There's nothing I can say to make you stay is there?' he glanced at her.

'No.'

He chuckled softly. 'I'm so pathetic I can't even make the woman I love stay with me, now that's sad,' he couldn't even look at her as he walked away. But he did hear her gasp.

He had made it to the door before a hand on his arm stopped him. Refusing to face her he waited. She seemed to be taking her time, maybe collecting her thoughts, he didn't know. All he wanted to do was get out of there.

'Daniel, you're not pathetic,' she whispered behind him.

'You stopped me for leaving just to tell me that?' He ground out. 'Could've waited until I left, you could've rung, sent me another letter perhaps?'

'We can't leave it like this.'

'Like what Sam?' He finally faced her. 'Like you've just dropped the bombshell and now I have to pick up the pieces? Or we can't leave it with us not talking? Because right now I prefer the latter, it's easier to handle.'

'We're best friends Daniel,' Sam began again.

'Best friends? Last time I checked best friends don't resign behind the others back, making certain that he would be off-world so you could sneak off leaving him to wonder what he did wrong. As it is, maybe that would have been better, because talking to you Sam, it's getting me nowhere, I still don't know what my part in all this is, and I'm beginning to wonder if I want to,' He ranted.

'OK, I should've told you, but it would have made it harder to explain why. You read me like a book Daniel, I can't lie to you and that's what I would've tried doing,' Sam explained. 'It's not that easy to explain as you'd think it was.'

'Just say what my part of all this is, so I can get over it,' he snapped, shrugging her hand off his arm.

'Fine, I've fallen in-love with my best friend, and instead of watching him love another woman, I'm leaving,' Sam stated, her eyes not quite reaching his.

'You're leaving because you think I love Vala?' He stared at her. 'Have you not heard a single word that's left my mouth? I meant it when I said I would've be able to live without you Sam, you are my lifeline, I mean I remember clearly saying that I was pathetic because I couldn't make the woman I loved stay with me. Did none of that register with you? None at all?' He continued staring at her.

'I thought you were talking about Shar're,' Sam mumbled.

'Shar're? Shar're's dead Sam, has been for a few years. I was talking about you Sam; you're the woman I love. The woman I'm loosing because I can't make her stay. Can't you understand that?'

**SGSG**

She couldn't be hearing what he's saying, she couldn't be.

'You love me?' she squeaked.

'YES!' Daniel exclaimed. 'I love you, I'm in-love with you, and I've been head-over-heels mad for you for about four years now! OK probably longer but are you listening? I love you Sam, I want to be with you, I need to be with you,' Daniel braced her head in his hands. 'Stay with me,' he whispered before closing the distance between them and kissing her gently. 'Be with me,' he kissed her again, with more force.

They finally broke apart when tears began falling down her cheeks. 'I'll stay.'

Daniel pulled her flush against his body, her head resting against his chest; she could feel his heart racing. She was going to stay, be with him.

'If I'd known that not telling you would involve you leaving, I would've told you years ago,' Daniel sighed, kissing her hair.

'I love you,' she whispered into his shirt.

'And I love you,' he kissed her hair again.

**SGSG**

She was staying; she was staying because he'd finally told her he loved her. General Landry had asked why she decided to stay; he still beamed when he thought of her words.

'If you don't mind me asking, what made you change your mind?'

'My best friend told me he loved me and that he couldn't live without me, it was an offer I couldn't refuse,' she had grinned at the General.

'I presume, Doctor Jackson, that you are this 'best friend'?' Landry questioned.

'I hope so sir,' He had replied.

'So there's a change to the relationships within SG1, do you think it'll make any problems?'

'I don't think so sir, I've had feelings for Sam for quite a few years, hasn't caused problems yet.'

'Need I remind you that she nearly left because of these exact feelings?'

'No sir,' Sam interrupted. 'I left because I couldn't handle my feelings, I thought he was in-love with someone else, and yes sir, it was a ridiculous reason for me to resign my posting here, but it had begun to effect my work. Now sir, I don't think that this will cause any problems.'

'Very well then, you're both on a six month probationary period, at which time the performance of the team will be checked and if it is deemed necessary, you will be reassigned to different teams. Do I make myself clear?'

'Yes sir,' Sam and he said in unison.

'Good, now break the news to your expectant team mates.'

They had been dismissed, Cameron and Teal'c were happy for them, he knew they would be. Vala would be the hard one. But after a little chat with Sam, she still wouldn't tell him why, Vala had been OK with the situation. He still felt pathetic that he nearly lost her, but not he gets to wake up next to her every morning. A sight he had longed for, for many years. Damn he was a lucky man!


End file.
